For Alagaesia: 13. Coping without him

The shining-water-lake Isenstar was below her. It was bright and happy. It looked like it was mocking her. She wanted some time alone for herself so as to come to terms with the fact that she couldn't save her partner-of-mind-and-heart Eragon. So she had informed Arya that she would go hunt for food and had flown high in the sky. She couldn't even enjoy flying. How could she when she knew her Eragon was probably being beaten up even at that instant?

Saphira thought back about the past two days in which she had not seen Eragon. Islanzadi was very angry at her and Arya for 'running off' towards danger when they returned from Utgard. She had shouted at them a great deal. Only after Glaedr intervened and said that they had taken all necessary precautions did the Queen leave them. From that day onward the elves had concentrated on fortifying the city against possible attacks by Galbatorix. Everybody seemed to have let Eragon's predicament to wyrda. Everybody except Arya and Glaedr. Arya had not accepted any positions in the fortification of the city choosing to be the guardian of Saphira.

Glaedr had always remained with her, consoling and advising her whenever she lost control of her emotions and tried to do something stupid. This was the first time that she was alone without either Glaedr or Arya for company in the last two days. And it was taking the toll on her. Wherever Saphira turned she remembered sometime spent with Eragon in such conditions. 'Life is not worth living without Eragon', she said to herself and aligned herself with the wind and glided away from the lake.

As she came out of the lake's boundaries, she saw a flash of red on the ground between the trees below. Angered beyond control, she snapped her wings closed and aligned her tail in a way that it helped steep diving, she dived toward the ground. In a matter of seconds she reached the near the tree tops and flared her wings open so as to let the air slow her, she searched the ground for the red runt Thorn, but all she saw was a beautiful bunch of red tulips. Disgusted with herself, Saphira blew a stream of fire on the bunch of flowers burning it down.

Tired and unwilling to do anything, Saphira lay down on the ground. Tears formed in her eyes and started flowing down her face as she silently cried out her misery. Her eyes snapped open as she felt some disturbance near her. A deer was trudging off unafraid of her. She was annoyed that a prey had got the guts to walk near her. 'Yes. Why shouldn't it have? I am useless afterall. I can't even save the partner-of-my-mind-and-heart', she said to herself in a self-pitying tone.

The music of Arya's mind entered her thoughts. 'Have you finished hunting, Saphira?', Arya asked. Saphira looked at the deer that was grazing a little away from her gloomily and said, "Yes. I have." "Could you come to the meadows outside the city walls. I have things to discuss with you.", Arya said."I am coming", Saphira replied thinking that time in company of some friend would be far better than being alone.

Saphira saw Arya sitting by the lake on the meadows outside Gil'ead city. She was deep in thought and didn't even notice Saphira approaching. She made a steady descend and came to a stop just near where Arya was sitting. The avalanche of air that hit Arya because of Saphira's landing brought her out of her thoughts and she jerked her head towards Saphira. Saphira extended her head so as to face the same direction as Arya, looking out at the lake and settled down on the meadow.

Arya didn't say anything for sometime returning to gaze at the lake. Saphira didn't want to ask what it was that Arya called her for. Both of them sat under the bright sun looking but not concentrating at the various reflections that the sun created on the surface of the lake. Eventually, Arya broke the silence, "I have been talking to Glaedr lately about the layout of Uru'Baen." Saphira became stiff at once after hearing it and asked, 'Are we going to rescue Eragon?' "Yes, but not anytime soon. So much planning is needed. Uru'Baen is the most protected place on Alagaesia. Perhaps next only to Ellesmera. I wouldn't have considered this as an option atall if I didn't know what all the empire will do to its captives.", Arya said with a touch of disgust colouring her voice. Saphira looked at Arya solemnly for a few moments but did not reply.

Silence engulfed them once again. They sat there on the edge of Lake Isenstar without uttering even a word to each other. After about a hour spent this way, Arya said, "I think we should go to Ellesmera. The library of Tialdari Hall holds many books that describe the layout of Ilirea. We may get some detail as to how to continue our quest from there." Saphira thought to herself that going to Ellesmera would be better than spending time uselessly in Gil'ead. Saphira sent her acceptance to Arya.

A messenger came running toward them. "Arya Drottningu. Saphira Bjartskular", he bowed to both of them in turns. "The Queen has summoned you both.", he informed. "Thank you, Haldthim.", Arya said and dismissed him. Saphira and Arya shared a look at each other and Arya without a word started a brisk walk toward the city followed closely by Saphira.

Arya went into the Queen's chamber through the door whereas she, Saphira with her bulk wouldn't fit through the door. So she extended her head in through a large window in the room. The queen looked tense and she wasted no time in greeting jumping straight into the matter, "I received message from the Varden. There has been assassination attempts on many important figures. Most escaped because of the elaborate precautions they had taken foreseeing this eventuality. But a few captains were killed." Arya didn't reply to the queen's revelation for quite some time. Then she asked, "What are we to do?" "I have planned to send a delegate of 50 elves to assist the Varden in destroying the Black-hand that is evidently operating so freely in Surda and among the Varden.", the queen said sedately. "With your experience with the Varden, I wanted your opinion on whether it will be enough or not.", the queen finished.

"With the Varden spread across the southern part of the empire, it will never be enough. But we can't do more to help them either. This delegate can be helpful though to provide complete protection to the important leaders like Nasuada, Orrin and people like Roran. It will also reinforce our support to the Varden in these dark times. So I suppose it will be beneficial for the Varden in a broader perspective", Arya said almost summarising Saphira's thoughts. The queen nodded to indicate her acceptance.

The matter thus settled the queen relaxed a bit. "What have you planned on doing?", the queen inquired to both of them in general. "We don't know for sure. But Saphira and I, we are going to Ellesmera.", Arya replied. "Ellesmera? What for?", the queen became cautious. "Saphira would be safe there than anywhere else. Further she needs some peace of mind and Ellesmera is the best place to calm her down."

'Why didn't you give the real reason?', Saphira asked to Arya in private. 'Because my mother will surely discourage us from trying to rescue Eragon and she won't even be wrong to do so.', Arya explained her situation. Understanding Arya's stance, Saphira flooded Arya's mind with gratitude. Arya looked unsure of how to react to Saphira and just offered her a small smile.

The queen seemed relaxed at Arya's reply and after exchanging some pleasantries with Arya dismissed them. After leaving the mansion, Saphira flew straight to the top of the house where Arya was staying. Glaedr had been resting for a while now in that house. 'Greetings ebrithil.', Saphira said once she reached the house. 'Greetings Saphira. How was your hunt?', Glaedr inquired. 'Good', Saphira said as the time spent alone just hours ago came flooding into her mind and drained her of all cheer. 'Arya and I plan on going to Ellesmera.', Saphira said wanting to divert her thoughts. 'To know more about Uru'baen, I suppose', Glaedr said.

'Yes. That is our idea.' 'Beware, Saphira. It may be a futile search for Galbatorix however mad he may be is very adept at casting wards. His wards have been circumvented only once before and that was when we stole your egg from him.', Glaedr cautioned Saphira. 'I know, master. But every day that passes without Eragon, I feel like I will lose my sanity.', Saphira let her misery show through her words. 'I know how it is, Hatchling. I have lost Oromis. It is a great void. One that can never be filled, not even by a hundred people who love and respect you. The bond between us, Rider and dragon is that strong. I have been considering leaving the world every minute since I lost Oromis. Yet there are things to be done. Things that are more important than our personal happiness. Much more important. Things that have to be done in order to save this land that has nurtured our races for eons. I would want you to remember this, Saphira. Even if you happen to lose Eragon, you should not let the people down. This land needs you and you should sacrifice everything for it.', Glaedr said his mental countenance sedate and serene.

Saphira dipped her head in acceptance of his words even though she knew he couldn't see her. It pained her to think of a life without Eragon. So she resolutely pushed such thoughts out of her mind. 'He will be fine' she said to herself again and again. Arya came there with Glaedr's eldunari held in her hand. Saphira diverted her concentration from the dark thoughts running in her mind to the things that needed doing.

'When shall we leave for Ellesmera?', Saphira asked. "Soon. I will have to make some preparations and then we will go.", Arya replied. 'What arrangements?', Saphira wanted to know what Arya was upto. "Selecting the people who are to go to the Varden. It is not easy to choose fifty elves for people who don't know the needs and working style of the Varden.", Arya replied. 'I will help you.', Saphira said wanting to devote her time in something other than thoughts about Eragon and also because of the genuine interest she had in the Varden's well-being.

So they set about hand-picking fifty elves who were both accomplished and willing to help to be sent to help the Varden. The exercise gave Saphira no time to think of anything else and she was grateful for that for whenever she had time for herself fears about Eragon began to creep over her. They got indispensable help from Blodhgarm who had contact and knowledge about the capacity of various elves, an area where Arya lacked a bit due to her being away from home for such a long time and her character of being alone always. The whole job took one full day to finish and at the end of it, Saphira was too tired to do anything other than sleep and sleep she did; soundly after two days of restlessness.

She slept peacefully until: He was lying in a pool of his own blood chained to the stone slab. He was shivering from the cold. He longed to be in the comfort of Saphira's warmth, but he knew he couldn't get it. With a lump rising in his throat he felt tears welling up in his eyes.

Saphira let out huge roar of dismay seeing the visions of the state of Eragon. She didn't want to think of anything else now. The good of the elves and Varden didn't matter. Her Eragon was in pain and she would go to rescue him; no matter what the consequences. But before she could fly away a huge force pinned her to the floor she was lying. She turned to see Arya calling out to her to be calm. She realised it was Arya who had cast the spell that made her immobile. 'Let me go, älfa-kona.', Saphira roared into Arya's mind. "Please calm down, Saphira. Tell us what is wrong. It won't help anyone if you are angry", Arya sounded concerned and grave. But Saphira would not listen; not when her partner-of-mind-and-heart was in such pain. She struggled against Arya's spell. But it was no use. She realised that Glaedr and Arya were both providing energy to sustain the spell. Realising that her efforts would only be futile she shouted frustrated, 'Eragon is in great pain. I can't leave him like that. I am going to rescue him. Let me go.'

Arya stiffened. But did not let the spell drop. "How do you know, Saphira?", she asked. 'I.. I got a vision of him. I don't know how. But he was in pain', said Saphira still trying to overcome Arya's spell. Arya looked saddened. But she didnot let her spell drop. She said, "You have promised me Saphira to not try to save Eragon without my permission. You can't go." Saphira roared in Arya's mind, 'I don't care about promises, älfa-kona. Not when Eragon is dying.' "He is not dying, Saphira. Galbatorix won't kill him for fear of you too leaving your life.", Arya spoke gloomily. 'Be that as it may. He is suffering. I don't want him to endure this.', Saphira calmed down just a little.

"I know he will suffer. In fact, I know much more than you how much he will suffer. He will pushed to his limits. But he will hold", Arya said with a forlorn look. 'How can you know that?', Saphira asked heatedly. "Because I could defy them.", was all Arya said. When Saphira tried to protest, a stream of memories flooded her mind. Arya bruised and battered with blood dripping from various wounds all over her body stood before Durza held by two soldiers chained by heavy iron shackles. He asked, "So Elf, are you ready to answer my questions now? Where is your home?" Arya looked at the shade with a mocking expression and smiled at him in a pitying way. The shade brought his hand up and hit Arya on the face. The force of the hit made the soldiers lose their grip and Arya fell on the ground. Durza kicked Arya with his boots breaking her bones. She screamed in the pain. But never did she tell anything about Ellesmera. After minutes of such brutal handling darkness overtook her.

Saphira stood motionless. She didn't try to break free of Arya's spell. She wasn't even sure if Arya still had the spell on. Arya spoke, "I know Eragon, Saphira. He will hold as I did." Saphira turned her head towards Arya and touched her on the brow with her snout. Arya patted Saphira's face. Glaedr flooded their minds with his soothing presence and a measure of peace entered their minds. 'When are we going to Ellesmera?', Saphira asked.

Author's Note:

This is a filler. But it is supposed to fill some gaps in the plot that follows. And many will wonder how Saphira is coping without Eragon. This is how she does so.